How We Get Along
by explodeychik
Summary: Just a little stop over before the end.
1. OPP Other People's Problems

I do not own Champloo. I wish I did.

Lyric used - How We Get Along by Jurassic 5. I do not own this either.

I guess I own the dirty old man. I wish I didn't !

This is my first fic ! Constructive crit always good to hear ! I hope my layout and stuff is fine, this is kinda confusing the first time through. Anyways...

Possible spoilers later on, not yet though. Set between episodes 23 and 24 ! Also, not sure on the whole ratings thing. Likely to be a bit of language knowing our boy Mugen though.

* * *

**How We Get Along**

_ What we're about to do, and to show you_

_ is how we get along_

_

* * *

_

**1. O.P.P. - Other People's Problems.**

Three hunched figures appeared in the distance. Dust scuffed around their feet as they trudged into yet another no-name village.

Jin took note_ - Much like the last village_, he thought as he adjusted his glasses to the bridge of his nose. A quick look over his map showed their destination, her dream, almost a reality. _Just how prepared is she to meet this man_, wondered the samurai, _how prepared are Mugen and I_... His thoughts drifted again to the view before them.

Fuu was dreading walking down the hill into town, _Why do these places all look the same ?_ She was even whining to herself now. The journey had taken it's toll on the young girl. She was tired, couldn't deny that, but not yet discouraged.

Spying a familiar sight, Mugen gave a silent cheer, _Eh, who cares if the scenery never changes, so long as the ladies stay the same, I'm not gonna complain_, he thought, already on the lookout for the local 'entertainment establishment'.

As usual, they found themselves lacking money and indeed this day, motivation to make any. Their stomachs roared in unison, but were only met with three blank stares.

"Well, I guess we better get..." Fuu's voice was suddenly drowned out by a brutish voice ahead.

"Now listen here, old man !" Noticing the three strangers approaching, he lowered his voice.

Fuu's eyes looked to the old man, darted to the overbearing man beside him and finally rested with her companions. The men rolled their eyes and took her along by an elbow each.

"This is not our problem, Fuu." Jin started walking again.

"Jin." She reasoned, "You of all people should understand !"

"Do not make eye contact, best to keep out of this." He replied, solemnly.

"Just keep walkin' ya idiot, " Mugen added, " I am not down with other people's problems."

"I agree." continued Jin.

"Now on the other hand, other people's p..."

"MUGEN !" Jin's brow twitched furiously. With this they grabbed her arms and lifted her along, legs running through air.

"Ugh, you guys are such, such...IDIOTS !" She broke free from their grasp as all three were suddenly overcome by their hunger pangs once more.

"Let's find a place to stay and see to some food", Jin started.

With much regret, Fuu began walking again, dragging her feet slowly away. Mugen nudged her along, but the young girl could not resist a look back.

"Your daughter will be in there as long as necessary." The big man was growing agitated again.

"Ahhh, there is one in town !" Mugen exclaimed, giving a quick wink to Jin. The samurai merely looked to the man beside him, then just as soon turned away. Upon further contemplation however, a slight "hmn" escaped his mouth as he absentmindedly rubbed his lower back.

"MUGEN !"

"Perhaps you should of thought of that before you allowed this to happen."

Fuu heard the words, and her pity for this unknown, but obviously endangered girl rose. "Ugh, when will this end ! We women.." She began.

"Girl, I think you're missing a few womanly assets, but do go on !" Mugen jeered, hands clasped behind his head and lopsidedly grinning.

Stifling a scream and placing both clenched fists to her hips she continued. "As I was saying, we WOMEN are not here to be used as currency ! We are worth more than a debt handed amongst worthless street toughs ! "

Fuu had not noticed the small crowd gathered around her. "Jin, Mugen ! You must help her !"

Jin tried to make off, pretending he didn't know this obviously insane girl making the scene. Mugen laughed and followed suit. "You don't even know who the hell you're trying to help, ya silly girl."

"Well, if the two of you have no compassion, then it must be me !"

She stormed off, kimono flying and Momo close behind. _I am woman! _ She mentally willed herself on. Perhaps a little too much, as her feet fumbled nervously.

Mugen caught up to Jin. "So, how long 'till the screamin' starts then eh ?" The young men smiled, though you could barely see it on either face.

Jin turned around to see two pink, stumbling legs, "Oh, any second now, I am sure."

"Excuse me, Sir", she spoke out and raised her finger inquistively, "but I must ..." She tripped over her feet and found her arms flailing in the air.

Those arms had somehow caught themselves up in a member of the growing crowd witnessing this spectacle, revealing two swords by the hip of a man which made Jin's eyes suddenly flash. He watched as he slank back into a nearby teahouse. Jin raised an eyebrow and considered the man for a moment, then silently slipped past his exasperated companion and followed the stranger into the shadows.

The large man had left the area as soon as he saw Fuu begin her tirade. What she was now surrounded by was an old man backed up by a group of slobbering, leering young men. Slobbering and leering at her !

"Uhmm..." Fuu hadn't seen the townsfolk slowly creep back into their homes.

"Now what were you sayin', Missy?"

"Oh, I tth-tth-thought you needed some h-h-help."

"Yes ! Help ! You may be of help to me after-all."

She felt his revolting gaze burn into her as he looked her up and down. "You're a lot younger than my daughter," his eyes narrowed as he stroked his beard, "I suppose you could take her place while she is out of action..." With a flick of his finger, one of his eager goons swept up Fuu and wrapped his arms firmly over her chest in a lame attempt at keeping this crazed girl under control.

"Muuuuuuugennnnnnn !"

Looking back, Mugen saw the gang of thugs. "Ahh, fuck. Let's go." Mugen was off the mark and reaching for his sword faster than Fuu on a free dumpling. He hadn't noticed Jin was missing, and if he had he would have silently revelled in the moment a split-second longer.

* * *

Well, that's chapter one ! Hope anyone reading this found it at least mildly entertaining. 


	2. Beat down Street

I do not own Champloo. I wish I did.

* * *

**2. Beat (down) Street**

_Finally ! Some action. _Mugen grinned maniacally as he rushed the crowd of thugs. They formed a wall around their ageing boss, thinking nothing of the young man speeding their way. Just as he reached them, Mugen stopped.

Fuu could of sworn he called out 'thanks' to her as he went to work. Who was she kidding, this was fun for Mugen. She sighed. _I thought I was helping, bah _!

Toes acting as springs to his elongated calves, they pushed him up the wall, his cat-like prowess always landing him on his feet. Legs slashing air, rotating like a bicycle wheel, he buried his heel on the old man's shoulder, dislodging his collar-bone.

The men could only stare in disbelief. Swords were raised, cutting aimlessly, no hope of catching the red flash.

"Come on, gimme something to work with here, ya useless bitches."

Their 'pep talk' almost did the trick, gaining some new found confidence. Mugen waited in the middle of the approaching men, their swords aimed squarely at his stomach. To his left and right, two approached. He smiled as they plunged their weapons toward him, underestimating the speed in which he hyperextended his legs down into a split, his groin inches from the ground. The two were impaled on opposing swords, as Mugen leaned back, almost parallel to his rear leg. Using his own sword, he cut the obstruction from his path, and digging into the dirt in front of him, flicked his body back to normal again as if he were some kind of limbo-ing pole vaulter.

"What can I say, it's survival of the fittest, and I got tha fuckin' skills man."

Tipping one leg behind him, he flicked the other out, his sheer force enough to kick those in his reach down and to the ground.

Yanking his head out of the action for a moment, Mugen inched to Fuu's captor. Suprisingly, his feet continued slapping his hapless attackers around. They stood in a line, he swiped down one side, teeth and saliva spluttered as he returned his heel's attention to their opposite side. For a split second he had a vision of skewering them all onto his sword. _Shit, I really am hungry_.

Mugen whispered into the man's ear. "Oy, I wouldn't get any funny ideas about the girl, dude. She got the clap man !" Just as quickly, Mugen's upper returned to its lower as he flipped back into a handstand, sideswiping another minion in the jaw, before heading back down, building momentum for a back spin.

Fuu's face glowered and made a mental note to kill Mugen later, but she then felt the grip on her loosen slightly as her attacker was temporarily distracted . Noticing her slight advantage, Fuu quickly pulled her arms out from their pinned position. Just as soon, the man squeezed her again, her tiny waist pushed against him till she was almost blue in the face. He managed to hold one arm down. Then suddenly his world went dark.

¤

rewind

¤

At first, he had been watching intently from a safe distance. Surveying the scene, waiting for his perfect moment to strike. Yes, he had to admit, he really did have a flair for the dramatic.

The girl, his _FuuFuu_, always up to mischief. Anyone else may have found it a bother, but, he, well, he loved it. The way she would squeal in delight when he came to her rescue. How she would bounce up and down, holding him gently to her breast. So warm and inviting. She would stroke his head lovingly, as he illicited innocent giggles from her tiny, pink mouth. He knew the girl would be lost without him, her silent guardian. His chest swelled with pride, she loved him, he was sure of it. His only wish being he could tell her the same. Impossible of course. There was only one way he could prove it to her. By protecting her. A tiny, almost inaudible growl emanated from his stomach. _Hmn, hungry !_

He heard the tell-tale clang of Mugen entering the foray, before he saw him come to a dead stop, launching himself off a nearby wall, his leg arching back and over his body and resting on the shoulder of the old man. _Well, there goes the jackass again. What a wasted effort... _he thought as he watched the rythmic movements the sly pirate made. His back spun on the floor, giving him momentum enough to lift his legs as if to take off. _Pshaw_, he chuffed, _Not like I couldn't if I tried. But, why get down and dirty when there is no need ? _Just looking at him writhing and contorting in the dirty street made him want to shake the dust loose off himself. He knew his own methods were far superior. Simple, yet effective.

His vision switched back to Fuu, her body struggling in the grip of the vile lech. She tipped her head upside down, watching Mugen spin and kick. Her nose closer to the villian's armpit, she felt herself go faint a moment, but soon regained her composure, her pupil's reflecting the spins Mugen was perpetrating on the thugs.

Shrugging it aside, he was off. Like a leaf on the wind, he flew to save her. As any true, self-respecting hero would.

¤

Fuu felt a slight, familiar breeze pass her neck and shoulders. A flash moved through the group, then floated above her.

The surprise attack, his favourite kind ! Bracing himself for impact with the foul, slob of a man, lightning reflexes avoided a wayward sword swipe. His natural instinct had been to smother Mugen, but with expert precision, he angled his side, swooping high and low until planting his claws firmly on his target.

"Momo ! You've come to save me !" She gleefuly cried.

"Arrrhhhhhh, what in hell is going on ? I'm..I'm blind ! What have you done to me you little bitch ? I can't breeeeaathe !" Momo plastered himself to his face.

With one arm free and her attacker distracted, Fuu attempted to sieze her opportunity. His frantic spinning trying to regain his bearings was making her dizzy, but Momo held on, digging in. Then it came to her.

"Mugen ! Fuu yelled, attempting to garner his attention.

He looked her way. _What the hell is she on about now _?Mugen cocked his head to the side. "Huh ?" His confused expression spoke more words than his mouth ever could.

"Arrggh, you idiot ! Throw me your geta !"

He furrowed his brow and growled back, "Dammit..wha.. !" For a brief moment, watching her point down to her legs, screaming something he had no idea what, he thought she was propositioning him.

In frustration, she began kicking her little legs, yelling at the top of her lungs. Desperately, she tried to flick her own shoe off and up to her free hand, but it just fell to the floor. "Jin, tell that useless monkey to throw me his damned shoe !" Then she realised. "Err, Jin ?"

Mugen was down to the last stragglers of the pack. Those men who were too proud to run at the first sign of ass-whippin', but too scared to actually take the wild Ryukyuan on. He grinned, waving his sword, toying with them. _All too soon the fun is over_. He sighed to himself. He heard Fuu vying for his attention again. _NOW WHAT_! his mind was yelling, but he tried to keep his concentration on the more important tasks at hand – _kickin ass', oh yeah baby_.

He tumbled down onto his hands in a semi press up. The lithe sinew of his forearms and triceps, stretched and flexed as he rolled his torso down, giving the impression of a worm crawling out of the dirt. His ankles crossed and dangling high above him, grabbed one man around the neck, flinging him over as if he were a doll.

"Muuuuuuugenn !" She yelled again

"YOU ! You shut up and stop yelling at me for my fucking geta, wench ! I'm trying to fucking rescue you !"

"Aaarggghhh !"

Wrapping his legs in tight over his chest, he flung himself around, revolving faster and faster, until in one movement, fingers gripping the ground next to his ears, he pushed himself skyward one last time, a split legged kick, doubling up two men in quick succesion. He allowed his mind to think a second as his last opponent slowly edged toward him. _Now what the fuck was she sayin ? My geta ? They don't even fit her damned feet. Ahhh, but her screaming...has...tooo...stop ! _

Slow realization dawned on him. He ducked, avoiding an unseen blow to the back of his head and drew his sword over his shoulder and through the chest of the attacker. Withdrawing his sword up and out, Mugen winked at Fuu, and with a flick of his ankle, slung one steel-soled geta over his head, landing in her outstretched hand. She whacked her captor's skull, not once, not twice but three times taking care to avoid Momo's tiny clawed paws. He droppped her like a sack of millet as he fell to the ground clutching his head in pain. Fuu then proceeded to kick his shins until he could take no more abuse from the girl.

"Only real men have use of those, you filthy jerk ! So you wont...---kick---...be...---kick---...neeeding...---kick---...them for a lonnnng time ! " She worked her leg back as far as her kimono's girth allowed, he tried crawling away until her final kick connected square between the legs. "Because, obviously, you are not a real man," She paused for a moment and dusted herself off, "Pervert !" His eyes rolled back into his head and a pouch of coin fell from his pocket. Cha-ching !

"Ssttrrriiiike ! He's outta here !" Mugen yelled victoriously. He hadn't noticed his legs had shrunk together from his usual lurching stance as the tiny terror unleashed her fury.

_At last ! FuuFuu !_ As quickly as Momo had joined the fun, he disappeared, snuggly with his girl once again.

Fuu spun on her back foot, twirling her kimono and raising her arm forward. Her fingers splayed and folded into a cocked 'V' . A tiny glint sparkled from her teeth as she smiled and winked one eye closed. Momo poked his head out of her kimono. "Eep eep !" He squeeked.

Impressed, Mugen walked up to her and raised his own arm in gesture. "High five, girl !" They pressed hands together in the air. "Looks like that, erm, what the fuck was that game we played the other day ?" He scratched his head in deep thought, swiping the sweat off his forehead, then relaxing his arms, clasped atop his head. Fuu just thought he looked in pain. "Base...ball ? Baseball ! Yeah, that's it. Looks like it payed off ! Good times, heh."

He held his sword out to the still grimacing man's neck. Moving it just as quickly away, he hooked the bag of coin with the tip and flicked it over his shoulder. Fuu pounced, catching and placing it in her sleeve in one fell swoop.

He shivered, "Not you again !" He instinctively covered his groin with his shaking hands.

"Told you I was too cute for my own good !" She skipped off with Mugen swaggering alongside.

"Either that or too annoying..."

"Ahh, Mugen, you're such a jerk." She smiled, eyes firmly down on the road ahead.

Mugen laughed, "Yeah, so I've heard !"

"Anyway, I guess we should go see what happened to Jin." She meekly suggested, knowing her true need, but too polite to say it out loud.

"You kiddin' me ?"

"Or maybe, um..." she jingled the coin pouch a little...

"Food !" they grunted in unison.

* * *


End file.
